Painkillers
by Seren-chan
Summary: Strangely enough, as he lies still in his hospital bed, Harvey almost felt…numb. Maybe he is still in shock, still trying to absorb it all. Like it hasn’t hit fully yet. But he is afraid to see what he discovers. -A little Harvey centric-


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**Painkillers**

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Strangely enough, as he lies still in his hospital bed, Harvey almost felt…numb.

Maybe he is still in shock, still trying to absorb it all. Like it hasn't hit fully yet. He is vaguely aware and tries to move his arm to touch his face. But he is afraid to, afraid of what he might feel; discover that this was _all very real._

Rachel's death is real. He knew it when he saw him; the Batman, walk in through the door. He even looked a little confused as he picked him off the gasoline-covered floor. He slowly began to hate that smell as he was lead out of the building, ready to blow them all sky high.

They claim to have tried to save her, but it wasn't enough. He knows that when he sees the angry orange flames erupt from the old warehouse. It was too late.

He can still hear himself scream as the fire licked hungrily at his face, feeding off the gasoline. He is not screaming just for himself; he's screaming for her too.

And he believes at that moment is when the floodgates opened, when he just _snapped._

Fate and luck seem to have dealt him a poor hand. He laughs to himself at that. Fate. Luck. Almost like his coin. He digs in his pocket for it and when he feels the smooth metal graze his skin, he pulls it out.

He sees one side a smooth, almost pristine profile of a woman, one he's most familiar with. He flips it over to study the other side. Charred, blackened, the face barely discernable. Another cynical laugh. Oh the irony.

He places his coin back in his pocket and decides to really sleep. And he does try but…he can't shake the 'butterfly affect' sort of scenarios playing themselves like a movie in his mind.

Scenarios where they reached Rachel in time, but not him. Wouldn't have been too bad; that demented clown would have gotten almost exactly what he wanted.

Second one is the two of them survive. This one was a brighter outlook. But he remembers her trying to him something before he was rescued. Not a heart wrenching "I love you" but something else. He realizes he'll never know.

As he mulls over this, he comes to terms with it all. All of this happened. He is sitting in this hospital bed, half of himself _dead and_ _gone_, and she is not coming back. She is not going to walk through the door to see him with her sweet smile.

As Harvey slips into his dreamless sleep, he knows. It's all very real.

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"…What are you doing?"

The small blonde nurse, 'Lucy' he believes her name to be, jumps slightly at the reply, not expecting him to awake already. She calms down and slowly turns to face him with a small smile on her round face.

"Er, I'm just preparing your pain meds for you." She says bashfully. She tries not to stare at him directly, turning her nervous gaze from him. Can't say he blames her.

"I imagine the pain you must be going through is unbearable."

He chuckles bitterly at that, muttering something under his breath. Lucy ignores it and focuses on getting the right dosage for him.

"Listen, I don't want any of that." She stops almost abruptly, nearly dropping the shiny needle in surprise. She whips around to face him, staring at him in disbelief.

"Sir, I think it is in your best interest to take the medication." She says slowly. "It really will help you."

"I don't want any of it."

"But you should-"

"I _don't_ want any of it." He repeats firmly this time.

These little nurses simply did not understand. It won't eliminate all the pain, not in his mind. She gulps nervously, turning her gaze elsewhere. She sighs in defeat, cleaning off the counter.

"If you change your mind and you do want any of it," He does nothing, not bothering to look at her. She makes her to the door, awkwardly finishing with "don't hesitate to tell us."

She can see his weakened frame shake lightly as if…he were laughing at her? She watches him confusedly as she listens to his reply.

"Trust me, I won't."

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**Disclaimer: No, I don't own Harvey Dent. I don't own anything from The Dark Knight or DC Comics. I've got nothing, save Lucy the nurse. M'kay?**

**A/N: I've been toying with this idea for a while now, so it needed to be written. I wasn't really planning on doing a huge character in-sight sort of thing, so that's proabaly why it's so short (and I need to re-watch TDK for it to be so). Plus, I noticed I didn't really see any Harvey stories. Or maybe I've been blind and overlooked them...meh, I'm rambling now. Feedback is very welcome for I'm always up to it. **

**R&R!**


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